Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
