weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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