fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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