I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
