Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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