He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
