You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I believe in your delicious
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
