He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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