Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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