I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
