she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
