I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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