Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
