its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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