5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
