Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
