i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
