I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
