Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
