Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
