Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
