you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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