she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize