The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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