Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She said her name was "party"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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