so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
