My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
