I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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