Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize