I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
