She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
