Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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