White coat. Heels.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize