i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
