you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
