my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
