haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
