let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize