Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
