Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
