how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
