I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
