you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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