I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
