Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
