Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
