So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
