Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
