All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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