Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
