Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize