when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
