You did not just play the dead husband card again.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
