why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
why do cheetos always look like penises
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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