sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize
