Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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