Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
