But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
