We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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