Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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