Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize