Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
