So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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