why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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