tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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