ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
