i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
