I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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