What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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