32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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