White coat. Heels.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Houston, we have a squirter
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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