In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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