we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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