I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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